When the rockodile was a wee lad, his mum and dad played scratchy Elton John records over and over. One of the songs stuck in his head and his fate was sealed! He’s spent years hunting fruitlessly for yellow brick roads and horny back toads but still hasn’t realised those are native to North America. Fortunately he has a successful night job as a drummer in a popular band and has a faithful following comprising hundreds of howling old owls and some meerkats.
While most impalas hang around in large herds on the African plains, Vlad is a bit of a loner.
One day, while resting in the shade of a rocky outcrop, he discovered a battered box of the complete works of Bram Stoker. He voraciously devoured the entire set and decided his destiny was to be THE ultimate goth.
As no one is actually brave enough to get close to him – due to his terrifying countenance – they don’t realise his impressive fangs are actually fake jelly sweets.
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